Bert is Poorly (again!)
May
2
Written by:
02/05/2012 07:52
On yesterday morning’s driving to work I noticed a little flash in Bert’s instrument binnacle. The flash turned out to be the oil warning light – luckily I was right by a petrol station so I pulled in, stopped and phoned the yellow people who advertise themselves as the 4th Emergency Service.
Those of you that read this blog will have gathered (although I do my best to hide it) I am a bit of a ‘petrol head’ and it will come as no surprise therefore that I know where my dipstick is (and no I don’t mean my husband 
) and can check my oil level. This I did before setting off that morning and so confident in Bert’s lubrication levels I knew it had to be something else.
The phone operator at the 4th Emergency Service was less than helpful as I did my best to explain the situation. No, I can’t just be recovered; I have to be seen by a patrol. He’ll be there in an hour. 
An hour later the conversation ran.
“Hello there, I think you should know I’ve had the pipe to the turbo off and there’s no oil flow. I’m not letting you try the engine, I am afraid I need recovery”.
“Oh no, no, no, love; I have to look at it”
“Well, there it is” I say pointing “now what?”
At which point the patrolman gets in his van, taps away at his PDA and informs me he’s arranged for ‘full lift recovery’ – which is a further wait of 2 hours, give or take.
Let’s transpose this shall we;
“Hello, yes, my family member is having a heart attack – I need an ambulance”
“Oh no, we can’t do that. We have to send a First Aider out; he’ll be there in an hour”
No wonder they are the 4th Emergency Service.
8 comments so far...
Re: Bert is Poorly (again!)
So if they are the 4th emergency service where does that leave mountain rescue and and the coast guard....I always new that those in the yellow vans were too big for their boots.
Hope the car gets better soon.
By Witchfinder on
02/05/2012 10:01
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Re: Bert is Poorly (again!)
So do I - Hubby taking a look today; best guess is the oil pump has become detached from the bottom of the engine. Hopefully I stopped in time before doing too much damage to my 'big ends' ooo-er mrs.
By marmite on
02/05/2012 11:14
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Re: Bert is Poorly (again!)
Hmmmmm, Looking at a new (Second hand) jeep today, my poor old thing has clocked up over 170,000 miles, it now has a rather noisy drive train thanks to a bearing that collapsed a couple of months ago that left slight scoring on the rear diff mesh, it has developed a distinct front end vibration around 60 and it's electrics are showing their age.
In it's time it has been magnificent, taking Paramedics to remote farms through thick snow, and returning them and casualties to the ambulanve when required, going out in to the wilderness to reach casualties......
It's had a hard life.
I wonder if I should give it a full Viking funeral rather than just send it to the scrap yard.
By Witchfinder on
11/05/2012 08:27
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Re: Bert is Poorly (again!)
I would suggest the full Viking bit.
I have an interim solution to the Bert problem. He is called Henry. He's a Ford Explorer.
By marmite on
14/05/2012 14:56
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